Home – It’s Where Family Is

well lovelies, i’m on the road as this is being posted and i probably just picked up J from the airport.  we will be driving around the bottom tip of lake michigan and through all the other states that happen to be between wisconsin and new york, i can’t think of all of them off the top of my head (ohio?  pennsylvania?  timbuktu?  did i pass geography?).  anyway, i did want to mention that two big things happened since the last time i wrote a post:  first, my little brother had his appendix taken out after it became enlarged last thursday.  he had just returned from two days in ohio where he was taking a class on painting cars, since that’s his job at the shop (we call our workplace “the shop” because it’s actually just one big workshop), and wasn’t feeling too hot.  mom thought it was food poisoning or the flu, turned out his appendix was halfway to bursting and they removed it thursday night around 2am.  he’s got three ugly stab wounds from the surgery, but he’s alright.  as long as he’s on all that hydrocodon they prescribed for him.  otherwise he’s crabby as a woman before her period.  or something like that.  he’s just really cranky.  second, we had to put the family dog down on monday.  he was going on 14 years and had lived a good long life, but at the end, he just went way downhill at a rate that would have killed him by the end of the week.  he developed liver cancer, jaundice, and about 12 fatty tumors within the last two weeks.  also he lost his appetite and hadn’t eaten anything but grass for the past two weeks, so his backbone was sticking out terribly, his hips were starting to protrude, and his gums were receding.  not to mention that he had started peeing all over himself rather than waiting to get outside and needed help standing after laying down.  regardless, he had a lot of problems, but he held on til the very end and he went peacefully…though i will say i don’t think i ever will get used to putting animals down.  it’s a very sad process, however quick it goes.  so that’s that!  sorry to leave you on a sad note, but i promise everyone here is alright and we are all very glad that he is in a better place (we are not glad he is dead…you know what i mean) and no longer suffering.

alright, onto another guest post written spur of the moment and very generously by Elly, who is also a graphic designer (she’s got some adorable designs, ask her about them!).  make sure to pop over to her site and check out her stuff!  happy thursday and have a great weekend if i don’t get a chance to post tomorrow!

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When I was younger, I always thought that home and family were things that would never change. We’d always be the happy go lucky people that we were together, who lived in a great home, and trouble would see how great things were and just pass on by.

Pity the philosophy didn’t hold. Sometimes wishful thinking is much more pleasant than the shift to the realistic. What Home and Family mean to me have changed, in the last year or so.

Last year home was the house I’d grown up in, where my childhood pets were buried in the backyard, where I’d learnt to ride my bike and had climbed all the trees, and dug in the dirt. Home was where there was an endless supply of food, and warmth and love. Home was where my family was.

Last year, family was the four of us. All of us doing our own things, coming together with whatever piqued our interests, laughing, loving, and moving on. For me, it was all held together with our home at the core, because where home was, there too was also my family.

Last year, Sibling told me that things weren’t so swell anymore. So, I moved back home, because to be part of my family meant being there.

And then last year, my Mum left my Dad, left Sibling and I, and left home.

This year, what home is for me is a bit different.

Home is still the place where I grew up, and I sleep in the same room that I slept in 20 years ago. But home is not the same. There’s no longer an endless supply of food, or warmth, or love. We feed ourselves, close our doors and turn up the heater, and turn to others for love.

For a long time our home was broken, because our family was broken: not sure how to talk to each other, not sure what all the changes really MEANT, not sure how we really FELT about all of this. And rather than deal with that, I would leave, and seek refuge elsewhere.

Now, our family is still a family, it’s just different. Instead of a cohesive whole, our family is split into segments: What is my family is no longer what my father’s family is. Home is the same, three of us left live there, in the same house, but we pass each other by more often than we used to.

But, when it really comes down to it, we still care, and even though we don’t reach out as often, or display as much love, we all know that we’re FAMILY, and that’s still what holds us together.  And even though things are now so different, some things stay the same. For me, home is still where my family is. Even if things are still just a little bit broken.

Making a Home

today is my last day at work for the week before heading back out to new york for the weekend!  i have lots and lots of stuff to tell you about, but since i’ll be at work all day, i really have no time.  once J is home with me, i’ll have more time than i do now (because i’m going to make him do dishes and cook for me, and also cut the lawns (we have 2 lawns now!!)…shhh) and i can write things the night before or earlier in the morning…haha, yeah…it all depends on when i get to work since the internet at my new place sucks balls.  i did manage to sneak onto my dad’s computer yesterday and wade through about 300 posts in my google reader, mostly just the filler stuff i read when i’m waiting for all you people in my blogroll to update.  i’ll be working on the 500 posts you have for me all next week i’m sure, as well as the 200 more you’ll write, so i apologize if i comment on something a month late, but i know how much you love comments.  well, i mean, i love comments, so i just figure you do too.  don’t judge me.  okay, off to work until 6, then sleep, then up at 5am tomorrow to drive to milwaukee to pick up J so we can drive all the way back to new york (and then back here)!  wooo road trip!

so today’s post is from Andy (she’s living in germany/france!  how cool is that?!), wish her lots of luck on all of her schooling endeavors and on making a new home.

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Hi! I’m Andy from Too Witty To Be A Lady. I graduated high school in July, and now I’m off to university, which means a HUGE change in what I call “home”. It was only natural, that when Lys offered her blog to guest posts about “home”, I signed up.

I live in a small country in Central America (El Salvador), and since I went to a french school for 15 years (pre-kindergarten to 12^th grade), I decided to make my superior studies in France. As you may see, it’s a change of 180 degrees when it comes to cultures. Furthermore, I’m not going to be ANYWHERE in France. I’m going to be in Strasbourg, 3 miles away from Germany. Things would be MUCH different if I went to the south, right next to the Mediterranean.

The city is in French territory, BUT let’s be honest here. The city belonged to the Germans way before that, and as a result, the city is a German city. People are cold, almost as much as the year-round weather. And I’m a Latin girl. Yes, with the J.Lo butt and the dancing skills and the flirting capacities. And I’m going to be with cold German people.

Since I don’t define “home” as only my household, but as my culture, my community and my society, this is a huge change of “home” for me. I’ll be living more than 3000 miles from my whole family. Now, my roomie will be my new family. And our duty is to create a home for both of us, because it’s the same situation for her.

I’m not talking about a material place. Of course, that helps. But we must create a comfort zone, the kind where you come after a long day of school, and be happy about it. We must create a trusting place, the kind where you come when you’re sad and need to talk, and know there’s someone there to listen to you.

We are each other’s new family. And together, we’re creating a home where both of us will have to live together in. It’ll be hard, of course. We’re both spoiled kids who are used to get everything done. We’re not neat people. We’re clumsy when it comes to housekeeping, so I’m guessing lots of frustrating and ensuing laughter are going to happen.

Honestly? I can’t wait.

Home

today’s post is from Ria, have a wonderful tuesday and enjoy her extremely comforting views on home.

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Home: a house, apartment, or other shelter that is the usual residence of a person, family, or household.

If you ask me where home is I’ll tell you the city that I currently live in without really thinking about it. But if you let me stop and analyze the seemingly simple question, the answer  gets a little more complex. I don’t really think of home as one house or one city.

Home is where you feel comfortable.

· In the company of a good friend or family member

· In a city where things are familiar and welcoming

· In a chair in your favorite part of the house

My favorite places to feel at home in my house are on the couch with a good book, cuddling with my doggies, laughing with C. Being there I know I don’t have to clean or pick up if I don’t want to. Though sometimes it gets out of hand and we have to a massive half day marathon of picking stuff up and putting laundry away.

Something about the sweet humid air feeling my lungs when I get off the plane in Hawaii, gives me a sense of peace and homecoming. I first felt it when I went on vacation with my parents when I was 10. When I as 18 while visiting with my best friends. C and I then got married there and went back 6 months after our wedding to camp and hike. The islands never fail to make me feel welcome. The sense of belonging is so strong that sometimes I am overcome by longing for the islands after I’ve left.

I don’t need to travel 2,000 miles away from my daily life to experience peace. When I reach a certain intersection driving up north a part of me relaxes. I can drive the road with my eyes closed, it’s that familiar to me. I have flashbacks of things that happened (some make me laugh and others make me cringe, we did some dumb things up there haha) and hopes for things that will happen.

Part of me thinks that I associate home with good memories. But I think it’s deeper than that. My instincts let me know where ‘home’ is. We know where we are comfortable and safe, for the most part. We also know when we belong somewhere. In a world where I feel out of place a lot of the time, I know I have at least 3 sanctuaries where I can be happy being myself.

Thoughts on Home

today is a guest post from Nora, one of my favourite bloggers who i had the wonderful opportunity to meet this summer.  this week’s theme is “home,” because i’m still deciding where mine is right now, what with half of my stuff, as well as the love of my life, being back in new york and my family and childhood being with me in wisconsin.  hope you had a good weekend and hopefully i’ll be back into the swing of things by the end of the month!  i miss you!

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I’ve moved all over the U.S. It started when I was just a toddler, moving from NYC to New Jersey. New Jersey to California. Back to New Jersey. New Jersey to Charlotte, North Carolina where we would build our own house, my brother would be born and I’d fall in love with New Kids on the Block and being a Girl Scout. Charlotte, NC to Orlando, Florida where I’d make a lifelong friend, hang out with Mickey Mouse at least 50 times a year thanks to awesome family passes and wear sweaters when it was 60 degrees out because I thought it was cold. And finally, from Orlando, Florida to StL. (In case any of you were thinking this, no, I’m not an army brat. My dad was in sales and was fortunate to land several better jobs each time we moved.)

StL is what I consider home. We’ve been here 16 years, in the same lovely house on a secluded cul-de-sac in one of my favorite parts of StL. I’ve come and gone, of course: to college for 3.5 years coming home only one summer, much to my mother’s chagrin; to three different apartments since I’ve been back (in only four years); and now, back at home. (If you don’t read my blog, the short version of why I moved back home; Boyfriend wanted to live with me. Wanted to live with boyfriend We remembered his parents are morally opposed. Trying to keep the peace, I officially live at home and crash with him from time to time.)

So, I’m almost 26 and living at home again. With my parents, their old but lovable beagle, my younger brother and I pretty much love it. Jack, my dog, enjoys being able to run: around the house! Up the stairs! Out the door! Not to mention my parents have more rooms with many more soft, cushy couches and wing chairs for him to hole up in. Me? I sleep better at their house than I do anywhere else. I am more relaxed, less concerned with time, rushing around, deadlines. I joyfully and willingly pitch in with cleaning, organizing, laundry (mostly because I’m living rent-free so I have to pitch in somehow!). Family dinners are not forced but rather a time of laughter, jokes, recapping the day and working through things together.

It’s easy to get caught up in the 20-something lifestyle: climbing the corporate ladder; maintaining a positive upbeat social life, not to mention social media; staying in shape; relationships; weddings; birthdays; blah blah blah. When I’m at home, though, I can forget about the daily hum and just be. Or if I can’t forget about it, both my parents and brother are there to lend an ear, a hand, or advice. Frankly, I think it’s pretty awesome.

There have only been three places I’ve lived outside of my parents house that I call(ed) home: My boyfriend’s condo, which I boldly call my “future home,” my college duplex and my last apartment. The rest of them were just boxes filled with my stuff in no order or semblance of a home.

So what is my idea of home? A place where you know you’ll get a hug (or dog kiss) when you walk in the door. A place where you can be completely alone or surrounded by people, mood dependent. A place where you can decorate, anyway you want, including painting the walls. (Anyone who’s lived in an apartment can understand what I mean by that.) A place where you can return to and be welcome, no matter how long your absence. A place that is filled with love. You can indeed, under the right circumstances, go home again.

How many places can you call home? Any moving nightmares?

hello! goodbye!

oh hey, remember me?

i would love to catch everyone up on what i’ve been doing for the past week, but i barely have enough time to catch up with myself.  i just wanted to check in and say hello, that i’m alive and well, and that living back in wisconsin at my little cottage is way more fantastic than i could have ever hoped to have imagined (did i word that right?  my head’s been jumbled since friday).  here’s a quick recap though:

• flew to chicago thursday night, july 30th, while J flew to milwaukee that afternoon, hopped a bus to milwaukee around 1130pm, finally meeting up with J and my dad and heading home
• friday, july 31:  drove J to two interviews, dropped off and picked up my sister from her summer gym class, helped mom set up for surprise party for both of my graduating siblings at cottage.  after setting up, had dinner with dad, sister and J, drove to the tree where Alex died 2 years ago on the 31st, visted his grave and grandma’s grave before heading back to cottage to sleep.  it was a very emotionally charged day.
• saturday, august 1: party all day, had my best girl friend stay over, we got trashed and ended up taking lots of pictures i never want to remember (and don’t remember taking), went swimming in the lake at 11pm, and passed out by midnight.  i woke up feeling like i was about to die and swore off alcohol for the hundreth time.  this time for good.  again.
• sunday, august 2: cleaned up party, took J to milwaukee so he could go back to new york and finish packing, spent the afternoon in milwaukee shopping with sister and dad.
• monday, august 3: started work (for dad.  he owns the family auto body shop).

and i’ve been working ever since.  i’m only supposed to be working from 8 to 5, but i’ve been getting in at 6:30-7 and staying til 5:30-6.  i actually have to go back and help my dad with some stuff in about an hour so it’s ready for tomorrow.  we have two huge paint booths that we use for painting cars.  they’ve got lots of special ventilation and whatnot so the car comes out without any streaks or dust.  very high tech.  basically, i’ve been cleaning, painting, ripping apart, and putting them back together in preparation for tomorrow, when we have 9 cars to paint.  9.  and only 2 booths.  we had to make them environmentally friendly as the emissions tests from our old ones were outdated by about 3 years.  or something like that.  i just work there.  anyway, i’ve been extremely busy with work, i don’t have a reliable internet (i can’t even open google reader…it’s just a blank page), and by the time i get home after doing 9-10 hours of heavy duty physical labor, all i really want to do is grab a lemonade and sit out on the dock while the sun sets.  not to mention i have to be in bed by 10 or 11 so i can get up and function the next morning.

anyway, this is a lot of complaining, but i just wanted to check in, say i’m still here and that i’ll be back soon.  also, i wanted to ask if anyone wanted to guest post for next week.  i need 5 posters for monday, august 9th through monday, august 16th.  you can pick a day if you want, and email me the post by sunday or two days before the day you want it posted.  any topic is fine, though i think it would be cool if there were a unified theme, like maybe something to do with moving closer to your parents, defining “home,” talking about where your homes are or where you feel at home, your ideal home or where you’d like to live…etc.  i’m just shooting this out there because i really won’t have time to write another post for a while at the rate i’m going and i don’t just want this little space to fall off the internet. email me at luck[dot]lys[at]gmail[dot]com and let me know if you want to write something for me (and topic if you think of something else), and when you want me to post it!  i would really appreciate it!

i miss you all dearly and i really hope i get a chance this weekend to catch up (or attempt to) with your lives.  now back to work until 11…sigh.

guest post: my “somewhere over the rainbow” summer

the last few days have been hectic at best.  i’m moving to wisconsin today, but it’s not a straight shot, and moving half-way across the country definitely can’t be as easy as it sounds.  i’m flying into chicago midway around 7:30pm, then i have to catch a ride to union station so i can hop on a megabus that leaves at 9:30pm so i can roll into milwaukee at 11:30pm.  then J got an email asking him to come in for a second interview on friday at a company near where we’re going to be living, but they think he’s already in wisconsin because he used our new address as the address on his resumé.  so we had to scramble around last night at the very last possible second to find a round-trip flight for him to be at this interview on friday at 10am, so he’ll be flying into milwaukee at 3pm today and hanging out with my uncle and dad while they wait for me to get there 8 hours later.  ugh.  so much stress.  my face is definitely exploding with it, and i just can’t wait to be in one place again.  once this extended move is over, life will be so much easier.  so if i’m not around much within the next two or three weeks, i’m okay, just really, really busy.  send me some good thoughts and luck and love and whatever else you think i need.

because i won’t be around, i asked Mandy from Just a Small Town girl to write something lovely for you all, and of course she sent me this wonderful story.  i love her writing, she always makes me feel like i was right there with her.  her writing puts memories in my head that aren’t mine, and it’s fantastic.  have a good weekend!

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The Wizard of Oz has long been one of my favorite movies. The story of a young Dorothy Gale longing for an adventure, someplace other than her back yard always resonated with me. I guess you could say growing up I always wanted my own “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” moment. The sort of moment that would allow me to shed my Midwest small town girl image, stretch my wings and fly off on an exciting adventure that would take me away from the small town that I had grown to despise.

That moment came the summer between my junior and senior year in college. A series of unfortunate events had found me back at my small liberal arts college in the middle of no where the fall of my junior year and I spent much of the year absolutely bitter about it. With a beloved professors help, I had managed to land a spot with an internship program that was my ticket out of the only place I’ve ever called home, even if only for three and half months of the summer. While it wasn’t quite the Emerald City, it was Washington, DC a place that I had been to many times before and absolutely adored. It was everything my small town wasn’t and represented a whole world I had only before wished I could be a part of.

While in the District I fully immersed myself in the bustling lifestyle. I worked in close proximity to the Capitol, had brunches at the Watergate, spent weekends shopping in Georgetown, and partied in Adams Morgan. The National Mall was my playground whether it be playing Frisbee in the shadow of the Washington Monument or cheering on a roommate’s internship company softball team. My roommates and I made trips to Eastern Market and took numerous boat trips on the Potomac at sunset. There were rooftop parties that lasted well into the next morning, adventures navigating the metro and just exploring DC and the surrounding areas. I was having experiences I never could have imagined. I was living the life I thought I was meant to live. I was all too easily making the transformation from a small town girl into a city girl. I was having the time of my life.

As my internship and summer drew to a close, I found myself experiencing something I had never expected. A deep longing within my heart to return to my small town, a town that just a few months before hand I had been so enthusiastic to leave. During my time in Washington while I was busy living unbeknownst to me a transformation of my very inner being was being transformed. While the constant go-go-go pace of the city was exciting, I missed the laid back lifestyle of home. Yes, all the new restaurants’ and cuisines were glorious but there was no where to cook a hot dog or s’mores over a bonfire. My roommates were great and we got along better than I could have imagined, but they weren’t the friends I’d known since grade school. The city held its own beauty with all the monuments, architecture and concrete but there was no place to ride a four wheeler, walk barefoot through the grass or just lie on your back and look at the stars. I enjoyed my time in Washington immensely and a part of heart still remains there.

Returning home was somewhat like the end of the Wizard of Oz, where Dorothy wakes up and thinks it was all a dream. As I settled back into small town life at times my summer adventure seemed like it was all a dream as well. Like Dorothy, I had to leave home and everything I’d ever known to finally learn to appreciate it. Upon returning home I viewed my small town and college in the middle of no where differently. I had a new attitude, a changed way of thinking, and a new appreciation for the people who live and work in the place I call home. My “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” summer changed my life in ways that I didn’t know possible. Instead of freeing me from my small town lifestyle as I had originally thought it would, it actually allowed me to embrace my roots and become the person I was meant to be, just a small town girl.

tuesday tunage

suggestions:

• grooveshark is rapidly turning into not my favourite playlist maker out there, as they don’t have any of the songs i want.  i apologize, but most of the tracks in the playlist are different than the videos.  basically have double the songs i usually post; consider it a bonus.

• if you are pressed for time, watch The Parlotones (different track)

• if you need something without words, something slightly electronic, something to softly stroke your neck and lay you down in a freshly raked pile of leaves (with no bugs) on a crisp fall day, watch Lullatone (two different tracks)

• if you crave something fun and new, watch Her Space Holiday

• if you like deep, soulful voices (seriously, her voice is amazing), watch Marina and the Diamonds

• if you know of The Long Winters you’ll know they never fail to deliver, watch them

• if you’ve never been acquainted with some good, scottish indie, watch We Were Promised Jet Packs (different, softer track)
• got any recommendations for me?  email them to luck [dot] lys [at] gmail [dot] com and if i use them, i’ll link to your blog.
• stay tuned!

Her Space Holiday – Tech Romance

The Long Winters – Pushover

Lullatone – Leaves Falling

We Were Promised Jet Packs – It’s Thunder and It’s Lightning

The Parlotones – Dragonflies and Astronauts (South African artists, thanks to SleepyJane for the recommendation!)

Marina and the Diamonds – Obsessions